There are days when life changes. When everything you knew is destroyed. What you thought was the only way to do things is erased. You walked in and nothing is the same. What are you to do?

How do you move forward? Precedence is holding you back, pulling your arm, telling you, “No, don’t go, it’s not safe.” There is freedom in the air, it’s palpable. It’s difficult, emotions are splattering everywhere.

Fear holds us from embracing what could be great. It never appears to be great, in fact, change is always the best player in the masquerade. Sometimes change has to cut us, make us bleed. Telling us we are human, telling us we are more than we thought we were. We never think that change will be a bully, we romanticize it. We fall in love with the harvest of change but never the work required.

Change doesn’t want to be your friend, it has to be the enemy. It’s the greatest antagonist we could ever hope for. It doesn’t only challenge us making us reconsider our doctrine, it forces us to step forward. Some times we do it cowardly, or courageously, and even other times we do it as we scream against the flow of life.

Freedom doesn’t come without trial. Even when everything is just as we want it to be we don’t have the foresight to know that this is only a stop on the journey not our destination. That’s why we fight to stop the inevitable. Why we scream for things to go back to the way they were.

We are so selfish, thinking our story is the only one that matters. We ask, we plead, we demand that our story be more pleasant. So naive we are, thinking that somehow our story is the most important. No matter how great the last Act was we must move onto the next one.

We seek to tell our story, involving everyone because it validates our story. We never realized that we never needed the life we erected, the friendships we’ve made, the family we love to validate ourselves. We only need to have faith in ourselves, to believe in ourselves when no one else could, or would. Everything is purely the aspects we cherish but it doesn’t define us.

Definition isn’t about making our way, feeling loved, or even finding worth. We define ourselves when we let go of what truly matters to us and move forward. If it is meant for us to keep it will move with us and if it’s not then it will remain in its location.

While many may hold us against the measure of ourselves or others we must never forget that today is the beginning of the next chapter in our stories. That is the beauty of our antagonist, it allows us to forget our past or to honor it with a new future.

Life will never be the same, don’t hide from it, embrace who you will become. In the ruins we will find out who we really are, there’s nothing left to distract us.

Today is the next step of evolution, you can’t fight it, or stop it. You may be able to ignore it for some time but the consequence of such an act will be reaped.

When your life changes, be brave and embrace it; it won’t be easy but it’ll be worth it.

Every now and then when I write in my journal I write for my unborn children or anyone who might pick it up and I offer them advice from what I’ve learned. This isn’t always what I write about but I feel it’s important to show people we are and hopefully someone will find this useful.

As business owners it’s easy for us to get caught up in the details losing the real reason why we do certain things. At a recent meeting with a client they are so caught up in how it’s always been that they’ve lost touch with their customers.

They bend to the whims of the few that complain and are afraid of change. They neglect to understand that true leadership in their own business means to be an example of what they can do for their clients.

They hate conflict, they hate friction. They choose to ignore that conflict exists regardless of whether they choose to acknowledge it or not.

The layout of their publication won’t change the business, nor will the content. Their focus on what is important (their customers) will change both content and layout allowing you to influence real change for your clients.

The Truth

Today my character was called on; who I am, how I act, how I respond and the things I do. It was a bit jarring but not unexpected, sharp yet sobering. I immediately wanted to slip a quick quip across the face of my aggressor yet I withheld for everything flowing unto me was truth, hot as acid pooling around my feet burning, singeing my soul. I knew it was true but I wanted to defend myself, I wobbled back and forth from accepting truth as it was and wanting to defend who I am at times. After feelings were vented, vetted and voraciously exasperated it was time to make amends and move forward without regret, resentment, or retaliation. It was time to pick up the slack, to stop letting down those who depend on me to perform certain duties.

Reflection

Understanding and transforming your faults is powerful, not a show for others to ogle at or a story for you to embellish your struggles and victories but a way for you to become who you should be, who you want to be. It becomes a moment when you figuratively or literally look at yourself in the mirror and feel a void, misappropriation, fragmentation upon your soul, character, morals, ethics, work, family and you know unequivocally, unabashedly, unarticulated that something must change. You realize that this, who you are, right now, isn’t who you want to be and you have to accept that so you can be better. It is then that you become cognizant of what you have to do and how you must do it.

What Must Happen

Change. Change must happen. I reflexively calculated how I could achieve this remodel of these certain aspects of who I am to become better, more effective, useful, and in the end more whole. It is these deficiencies that drive me towards betterment. It helps align me to what I need to do. So it was at this time that I apologized, organized myself and began to map my way to repair in these areas. I am happy that I have people in my life to help me when I need it. The last thing you ever want is to have no one say a thing, similar to walking around the entire day with your zipper down, as embarrassing as it is to be told this bashful headline it is necessary to avoid other cringeworthy events.

The Thank You

So as much as it temporarily made me uncomfortable it was necessary and appreciated greatly. Thank you to those in my life that give a damn.

The Ask

Does someone hold you accountable? What’s your thoughts on accountability? Is it important?

I believe that there is something to be said for those who risk everything for what they want, they throw a certain amount of caution to the wind and jump in and hope for the best. I think often times we settle in and call that love of the game. A certain apathetic, copacetic, boring love for what we’ve come to know as normal. Sure you’ve been hired to do what you once loved to do but do you continue to love it and do you rise out of your slumber with eagerness and anticipation for the day?

This is crucial to business and your relation to it, comparing the level of work to satisfaction will tell you whether you should be doing what you do. What kind of risk requires you to walk out of a job to follow your dreams or do what you long to do? Maybe the question is really what fuels risk. What makes the cognitive cogs of your gray matter decide that you should be doing something else with your time and talent? What forces the figurative hand of fate that makes you change your life and begin to risk it all for what you love to do? How does that fuel and risk align with your priorities and obligations in life? Should certain things be set aside for your dream of loving what you do? Does money count for anything while comparing the risk vs. rewards?

Some might say that in the end if you love what you do no amount of money can change that. Is that true? Are you willing to live by that simplistic rule? Does it apply to every situation? Some might even say that as long as you’re paying the bills you’re doing enough, do what you love after-hours.

When you’re sitting in the car stuck in traffic or at home staring at the television and thinking about your life, are you happy with it? Have you taken risk for what you love to do? What fuels you to take those small risks everyday?

Obviously (in my opinion) risks should be carefully weighed and options compared upon multiple times before choices are executed. You should consider taking small daily steps toward what you love, never compromising those whom you care for or care for you.

Maybe you’ve been thinking about taking that next step, the big plunge, but you’ve been waiting for something better to come or something to make it easier for you. The truth is nothing will truly help you make that decision or make it easier. That’s the risk, you may fail, you may be wrong, hell, you might even lose what you’ve worked for. But one thing is for sure you will usually come out a better person for it. You need to decide if those negative possibilites are worth becoming a better person no matter what the loss or gain could be.

Maybe the question isn’t what to risk or even when to risk but do you have what it takes to risk anything at all?

Maybe that’s what that statement meant, that at some point a certain amount of causality (i.e. suffering) will spur our ability to risk and change our own lives.

Will we, can we change? Is it worth it?

I was reading a new book I picked up called “Diary” by Chuck Palahniuk (Fight Club). There was a section talking about how artists who go to school for so long, and yearn to create yet have the skills but have no passion or no story to tell because they are hired professionals who do what they are told to do.

That brought up a good point, how many people are doing what they love? I mean truly what you love, what you live for, what you yearn for?

In that chapter, one of the main characters made an interesting statement, “Many people have to suffer before they can risk doing what they love.”

It made me think about how much do we risk to do what we love? And if we are risking, is it enough? Would risking more yield more satisfaction? More love for what we do? What if we’re not risking enough, is that why we don’t love what we do? If we’re not risking enough or need to risk more, how?

What’s your thoughts?